MY SON VISITED WITH THE BABY TONIGHT!

My son got his hour-and-a-half visit with his child tonight. He also lost his job today because all of the hearings, and the meetings on the phone, personal service of the restraing order etc. etc. have caused too much of a disruption. How awful huh? If I worked more than two days a week, I would lose my job also. They seem to call meetings whenever they want, they just call everyone and tell us that we have to be in their office within a few hours, and schedule hearings without consulting anyone. So now he has lost his job that he loved. He tells me I have to go and get the restraining order against him that CPS told me to get, so that I can get the kids back into my home. That isn't what I want to do. That's awful too. They tear apart your family and they tear apart your life, and as my aunt pointed out in an e-mail today that they don't have to answer to anyone.

My son called me first thing when he saw the baby this evening in his monitored visit, and told me that the baby's head looks okay. He didn't see anything unusual. So, maybe whatever it was, is healing up. But I have the pictures, and I won't forget. He said that the woman that is watching him is doing it for a paycheck but that she seems to be attentive to the baby, and takes good care of him. He also said that she commented that I have caused so much trouble, I will never the baby back. How professional of them.

So what would they do, or anyone do, if you had pictures that showed what looked like a hematoma on the head of a baby. It wasn't there two weeks ago the last time I saw him, before they took him away. It wasn't in any of the pictures taken prior to that time. And, I have now showed the pictures that I took on my visit last Wednesday, to a PICU nurse, a doctor, a nursing instructor and a social worker, and all of them say the same thing. It looks like a bruise or a hematoma. However, when my son saw the baby tonight, it appeared to be normal. I need to measure the circumference of the head everyday to see if it changes, because possibly it is something on the inside that can't be seen in the coloring of the skin. A CT scan would tell if there was anything there as far as swelling. I know they are not taking the same level of care that I would take. None of them are probably even aware of what hydroencephalitis is? And I don't think he has this, but just in looking at a picture and not being able to see the baby, it is very upsetting, worrisome and has caused me much emotional grief.

More of the Cost...and a realization...

I have just been informed that the deadline for me to register for The Frankfurt Book Fair & Beijing Book Fair and International Children's Publishing Exhibit is tomorrow. I just can't leave right now. I can't even think of anything else, right now, not just for my grandson, but for both children in CPS's custody. Two days ago, my daughter in law, in just about what was pleading with me, made me see just how important the other child is, and right now with tears in my eyes, I do believe that I should try to fight to keep both children together, no matter what the cost. There will be other book fairs and opportunities to do all of the things I ever wanted to do. Both children are just so precious, and like I said in my last post, with me it seems that opportunities come, and God allows me the privilege of having everything I need. I do believe, he also puts me places that wake me up to certain situations. I believe this is one place he has put me, so that I can have the opportunity to make changes that need to be made.

One of my friends sent me a story yesterday called The Brick. I usually don't read spaming e-mails, but this caught my eye, and I do believe it was talking right to me. Below is the story my friend Charlie sent me:


THE BRICK!

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed right into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back up to the spot where the brick had been thrown.

The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, 'What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?' The young boy was apologetic. 'Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do,' He pleaded. 'I threw the brick because no one else would stop...' With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. 'It's my brother, 'he said 'He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up.' Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, 'Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me.' Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. 'Thank you and may God bless you,' the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy! push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home. It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door.. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: 'Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!' God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.. Thought for the Day: If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it. He sends you flowers every spring. He sends you a sunrise every morning Face it, friend - He is crazy about you! God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way. Read this line very >slowly and let it sink in...If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.


The funny thing is, the man who sent this story to me, has always told me, HE DOESN'T BELIEVE IN GOD!!! This story made me realize certain things. I am now ready to take both children into my home and raise them until my son and his wife are ready, I've been an idiot!!!! (Not the first time in my life, and probably won't be the last).

THE COST....

I have just gotten an offer on a house that I own in another State. This is probably what the cost of this will be for me, my house. I am hiring counsel next week and the cost will be a house. How fair is that? This particular house, is one of my son's favorite houses. It has a special meaning for both me and him. I wrote my children's book there and he met his wife there. He wanted to keep it forever, and I do wish I could have kept it for them. When I first put it up on the market he was upset, but I felt that me being home with the baby for the duration was more important, and the way things work with me, I might be able to buy the place back in the future. I haven't told him yet. The house that you loved is going to be gone, in what I believe will be the cost to protect his kids. So, because CPS took the kids, and I only get to see my grandson one hour a week, and I am afraid that CPS is trying to adopt these kids out to adoptive parents, instead of keeping them within the family (I spoke to the other grandmother last week, she hasn't heard from anyone about this), and I feel that I need to rise to this occasion and fight for these children, so that sometime later, much later if necessary, they can be returned to their parents, I am selling one of our houses. One that meant so much to all of us. One that we had a history at. But our kids are much more important than this house. I had put it up on the market when the baby was placed with me. I figured I would rearrange my life and stay home with the child until he was older anyway. But now I feel that I will use the money to pay attorney's fees, so that we can just keep custody of these children. How fair is that? Thank God I have resources. What do people do who don't?

AN ANSWER TO A QUESTION?

Someone has asked me (in another forum that I post and write on) how the parents were doing with the baby when the baby was taken from my son and his wife in the first place? My thoughts about that are: they were doing well with the baby. My son has a job, she was staying home with the baby, and they seemed to be doing well. I was seeing them every couple of days and my son just about everyday. Then you would ask, why would CPS come in and take the baby. It is because of their pasts. They don't do drugs or alcohol. That isn't it, and I know that sounds odd. And I guess it is.

Another thing mentioned (on the other forum) was that it seems like I am hiding information on this blog. I'm not hiding information, I just don't know how detailed and specific I should be in a public forum. Everything I say is what I believe to be true. I just do not include all of the specifics.

Today the Supervising Social Worker called me and told me that the baby had been seen by a doctor and that the doctor found nothing wrong. I showed a social worker totally unrelated to this case, the pictures of the baby that caused me to become so upset, and I asked her if she could see what I could see. She immediately thought that the area I was looking at, was a bruise, as I had thought. I had about five pictures of the baby, taken at different angles, they all looked like this was a bruise. I also asked her, if she thought I was over reacting. I showed her all of the letters I have written to everyone involved, and asked her if I sounded crazy. She responded that I had done the right thing asking that the baby be seen by a doctor, because it is better to err on the side of caution, which is what CPS said, almost word for word, in the first place, when they first detained the baby. She said that my letters to the Court were very well written and thought out. They detailed event, by event, as I have kept notes the entire time. The first letter written to CPS asked for the records that CPS supposedly had against me alleging child abuse, because I know that those allegations are false. I never abused anyone, much less a child in my entire life. It also asked that the baby be returned to my care and in exact words this is a sentence from that letter: "I feel that no foster parent can care for this child and love this child in the way that I can and do, as a parental (sic) grandmother. With all of the above in mind, I am asking that this child be returned to my care forthwith."

The first posting on this blog, are the first paragraphs of the second letter. That letter was addressed to the Court. I set out the events as they happened, and then questioned the decision of the Court because I really think the Referree did not take everything into consideration when placing the baby in foster care, and removing the two year old from a wonderful foster home. I know my son and his wife want the children to be together. I can understand that, but at this point, the baby doesn't know what is going on, but the two year will be effected by this, and I think that the Court should have considered that, at this time. It should consider what is in the best interest of the child, and I strongly feel that both of the above decisions were wrong. Of course, things change as time goes on. What I am truly hoping is that my son and his wife will get their children back, after they have done everything necessary to be in that position. I think my son will grow into a very good father. He cares so much about these two children, more than he has cared about anything in his life. Finally, something means more to him than he does. This is wonderful. I just don't want them to lose their children to the system because the system doesn't play fair. I have brought it up to my son, what if you do everything they tell you to do, only to have them put the kids up for adoption? I didn't know it, but that was one of his thoughts when he asked that the children be put together, and he was afraid that the foster home that the two year old was in, would be able to keep her if she stayed there any longer. His feeling was that if they would be adopted out, then they would have each other, because he feels that they would be adopted together. I don't really know if that would happen.

Someone advised me today to shut this blog down and seek legal counsel, which I am doing. I don't usually come out fighting this hard about ANYTHING. But this has struck a real deep nerve in my soul, and I just can't let it go. And isn't this the United States of America where freedom of speech is one of our Supreme rights?

I recently posted something on my facebook page, it read like this: I am so sick of the government being up in business. They tell me I have to wear my seatbelt, (I feel that if I want to negligently contribute to my own demise or injury, then that should be my right), they know if I deposit more than $10,000 into my bank account in a day, and if I sell a property and make a profit, they take what they think they are owed before I can file a tax return and show them that I didn't owe them at all, and it went on. This how I feel!!!! Is there anyone out there that feels the same way? Or maybe I'm just a radical in my old age.

I AM CLEARLY LOSING SLEEP OVER THIS!!!

IT IS BOTHERING ME....ALOT!!!!!

JUST CREATED...kidnappedbycps@yahoo.com

I just created a new e-mail address for people to send me e-mail information. It is kidnappedbycps@yahoo.com Please let me know how I can reach all of you by e-mail. We are going to need to do letters and phone calls to our local representatives, State representatives and then Nationally to get anything changed about this. Cynthia Morgan, R.N.

CONFLICTING STORIES.....

So, today, while I am at my visit, and after the visit when I flew back to the CPS office because I believe something is wrong with the baby's head, I mention during this visit and the visit earier in the day, different aspects of the child abuse that has been alleged against me to two different social workers. And by both social workers, I am told "there is no child abuse alleged against you". Okay, so why can't I have my grandson in my home?

At the hearing on Monday, July 27, 2009 I was told by the attorney for the baby, that because of the child abuse alleged against me, I would not be considered for adoption, when I told her that I wanted to adopt my grandson in the event that reunification was not possible with my son and his wife. I know I am not crazy. My husband heard that from her mouth too.

AGAIN, WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? WHY IS EVERYTHING SO INCONSISTENT? I'M NOT DOING DRUGS.....IS EVERYONE ELSE? I THINK WE ALL NEED DRUG TESTED! THIS IS LIKE LIVING WITH AN AN ALCOHOLIC.....

I'M JUST NOT SURE!!!

During my visit, I took a few pictures of my grandson. I noticed what I thought was a bug bite on his face. After I came home and looked at the pictures on the computer, and then was out in the sunlight looking at them on my iPhone, the area jumped out at me appearing to be a big huge bruise. I FLEW down to the CPS office, and talked to the Social Worker and the Supervising Social Worker, and two nurses who all minimized the picture. When I first sent it to my son, he said it is a big huge bump. So all we can do now is wait and hope everything is okay. This is awful!!!!

MY ONE HOUR VISIT WITH MY GRANDSON

So finally, after two weeks almost to the hour, I had a visit with my grandson who is now 7 1/2 weeks old. And he is pretty cute!!! However, I think that for the wise Referree who ordered one hour a week, supervised visits, with a grandmother who is a Registered Nurse and has a PALS certification that is a (Pediatric Advanced Life Support) certification, and worked at the County's Olive View-UCLA Medical Center on their pediatric unit, she sure doesn't have much faith in me that I am able to care for a child and could have longer, unsupervised visits, and I ask WHY????? If they felt that I was a real danger to any child would the County of Los Angeles have employed me on their pediatric unit and in their NICU even???? The answer is, they wouldn't have, and THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME OTHER THAN THE CPS IS MAKING ME CRAZY!!!! I am perfectly fine to care for all children put in my care. So what's the problem. Why can't I have my grandson for unsupervised longer visits, or even better, why can't he live in my beautiful home that there is NOTHING WRONG WITH. GO FIGURE!!!! I thought the County was broke and didnt' want to spend money things like foster care. I actually had applied for assistance for child care on the two days per week that I had to pay $175 to have him cared for, while I worked. I was home the other five days per week. All we used to do was feed, look at the sky and the clouds, and the stars at night (because it is so hot out here), sing songs, watch the puppy we have (which looked for him for the first few days he was gone), sit in the bouncy seat, rock in the rocker, sing some more songs, watch PBS kid's shows, take naps because Granmma was tired, feel the cool breeze blow in from the outside when it finally cooled down, visit with mommy, visit with daddy.......... SO WHAT IS SO WRONG WITH ANY OF THAT???? AND NOW A REFERREE, NOT EVEN A JUDGE, IN ALL HER WISDOM DECIDED THAT FOSTER CARE IS BETTER FOR THIS BABY!!!!

I had someone look into the record that CPS has on me from 94 and 95 and was told that both were unsubstantiated, could have been called in from anywhere, and may have been called in about my son's father, not me, at all. And then the allegation in 1996, once I started looking at the information provided to me this morning, I do recall that there was something called a "wrap around" done because my son was in a school that needed more assistance in services from the County. It may have nothing to do with me having child abuse allegations at all. I was trying to get more help for my son at the time who was in a school because the school district put him in a private placement because they needed more help with him. I never knew that this would show up as a "HIT" on any child abuse registry with CPS. WHO KNEW?????

I think that to give a grandmother only one hour a week visitation for her grandson, FOR WHO KNOWS HOW LONG????? is ALL MESSED UP!!!!!

Also, the baby appeared to have a bug bite on his face, and the beginning of a diaper rash.

I just spoke to Tamara Backstrom of Michael Antonovich's office. She said this had been referred to a man named Mr. Marin. I will post when I get information from this person.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???

So I am supposed to get a one hour visit with my grandson today. It is a one hour visit because supposedly I have child abuse allegations in my past, which I've just talked with someone at "the department" about, and now recall what this might be about. In 1996, my son was in a school that was a "more restricted environment". As part of the AB3632 services in California he was supposed to get counseling one hour a week at that school and that was provided for by the County of Los Angeles under AB3632, it was called "wrap around" services. So how does this make me a child abuser? In fact during that time, we were doing everything to make sure that my son was supervised around the clock, by having him at home with us, then the bus picked him up for this special school and then would drop him off at my husband's shop after school so that he would be there with his step-father until he would come home in the afternoon. We didn't want him to ever be home alone unsupervised, and this is when he is 15 years old, so you know how difficult that was. So because of this record that CPS has about me, they will only give me a one hour visit and it is supervised. Does this mean I'm not supposed to have any children in my care at any time? How totally inconsistent. How could a child abuser be allowed to be a Pediatric Registered Nurse? and, If I go and pick up my other grandaughter or grandson from their parent's house, does that mean that CPS can come in and swoop them up because they are with their abusive grandmother? WHAT A CROCK OF (*&^ %$#@!!!!!!

SO...DO YOU TELL THE TRUTH, LIE, HIDE THE TRUTH OR WHAT?

So with all of the things I've written previously, do you tell the truth, hide the truth, or just flat out lie? Since I've been an adult, I've always told the truth even to my detriment. And even when you are telling the truth, you are accused of lying or "hiding" the truth. This is how inconsistent CPS is? I feel like I am going crazy, and yet I know, I am not crazy. When my son is not involved in my life, I don't have these problems. He spent 5 1/4 years in a prison. During that time, my life was so peaceful. He has been out for almost one year, and even though he appears to be doing well, my life has spiraled out of control. And now, I have a little grandson, taken into custody by CPS, and all of CPS seems to be inconsistent, just a twist more inconsistent than my son, who is very inconsistent. Very scary when I consider the child.

SO MANY PEOPLE AND NONE OF THEM TALK TO EACH OTHER! AM I IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE!!!

Over the time that my grandson and his sister have been under the jurisdiction of CPS, many different "investigators" have come to talk with me. Some have what I would say would be "pertinent" information that really matters when taken into consideration, meaning that some have my son's entire history. I never told them anything. I've even been accused of hiding information about my son, because I don't "disclose" this information up front to certain people. It's not that I'm "hiding" information. It's that I assume that if one investigator knows the information, then all of them should have the same information, RIGHT? It's like one hand doesn't know, what the other hand is doing. They are so highly inefficient. And you would think that if something is "public record", and one investigator has it, then all of the investigators would have it. I have at this point, talked to four investigators, two of which have questioned me specifically about something that is on my son's record. They found the information, and then asked me about it. At one point, the Supervising Children's Social Worker, says something to me like, "you make these allegations and then have nothing to back it up with." He was talking about a specific thing about my son. I don't say anything because I'm not sure what to say, he didn't know about it or is he trying to catch me in a lie or trying to catch me "hiding information" which he had accused me of earlier, and I'm thinking, "but your investigator, who works right in your office, showed me that they have evidence of that information that she had obtained herself" that morning, what the hell is going on here? And it is of such a serious nature that it can't be overlooked if they really are considering ever placing the children with my son again. So, I am at a loss. I don't know what to say or what to do. I feel like I am spinning out of control in the twilight zone. THEY ARE ALL SO INCONSISTENT. DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? WE ARE TALKING ABOUT AN AGENCY THAT HAS THE ULTIMATE CONTROL OVER THE LIVES OF CHILDREN!!!!! So, I have this question, if this particular event in my son's past is not fully considered, by all parties, in the time period he is "working the program" and then "someone" discovers it at a later date (someone with half a brain), like after they have returned the children to him, do they come back out, and take the children back into custody at a later date, further disrupting their lives? It appears to me that they can do WHATEVER they want to do, at any time. They have a record that is SET IN STONE that can never be altered, so can they make a new case if they discover what would be old evidence, that they newly discovered at a later time? I think that would be, what is known in law, as double jeopardy, but even though they have it, not all of them have it!!!! THIS IS GOING ON IN LOS ANGELES.

DEPENDENCY HEARINGS

I have now been to three dependency hearings for the child over the last five weeks, and NOTHING GETS DONE!!!! The lawyers talk, I didn't get to talk. They profess what they profess, the judge WHO KNOWS???? And I've been to college and I don't understand the BULL (*&^ that goes on at these hearings. I have now seen people come out of these hearings saying, "THEY TERMINATED MY PARENTAL RIGHTS." These have always been the underprivileged of society for the most part. I do believe these people might, they just might be, in the kid and baby business. I have now watched them take a two year old child out of a home where she was thriving, doing well for the last four months and switch her foster home. How smart is that of the ALL MIGHTLY COURTS?????? I have written to Gail Zimmerman today. She is a producer for the show 48 Hours on CBS. I am hoping that she will take this story and run with it. I THINK PEOPLE REALLY NEED TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON!!!! If you are reading my blog, please comment so that I know someone out there is reading.

Did You Know??????

Did you know that in the State of California, that if anyone, anyone calls in to the Child Abuse Hotline and alleges that you are abusing your child, that that record is kept forever, even if you never know anything about it. So if someone that really hates you, like your ex-mother-in-law, calls in a child abuse report, it is logged in to the system at CPS and stays there FOREVER!!!! So even if you did nothing, it is there. I never knew that anything like this existed before my grandson was taken away from his father and his wife, and I became his "foster mom" for four weeks, and then CPS out of nowhere, starts making all of these allegations that I am a child abuser because in 1994, 1995 and 1996 allegations were made against me (they even got my name wrong), but supposedly, they purport that these allegations exist, even though they cannot produce any kind of paper record of it. No one ever spoke to me about any of this and I never went to any kind of Court hearing about it or talked to any social worker about it back in those years. I have consulted a lawyer and will fight this vigorously because it is SO UNTRUE!!! I have come to believe that they may find that my son and his wife are not reconcilable with the child and if they eliminate me and the other grandmother, (which they have given me reason to believe they are in the process of doing), then they have a beautiful little baby boy to put up for adoption. My question is: WHO IS GETTING PAID FOR THIS BABY? SOMEONE MUST BE, FOR CPS TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS. THINK ABOUT IT. SCAREY ISN'T IT!!!!